


Prince

by artsyleo



Series: Stage Lights AU [5]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Theatre, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, it's quite minor but it's there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:01:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27123559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyleo/pseuds/artsyleo
Summary: It’s a feeling like no other, standing backstage when you know there’s an audience full of people just around the corner, waiting to see you. The heat that’s burning off the stage lights, the adrenaline that’s almost palpable through the air, pulsing through the rest of the cast- it’s exhilarating, and sickening, and so, so addictive all at once, and Callum doesn’t think he’ll ever forget it. Fuck, especially opening night- he should be nervous, and there’s a part of him, of course, that’s shitting himself, but it doesn’t beat the feeling of this is what I’ve always wanted.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Stage Lights AU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759720
Comments: 12
Kudos: 32





	Prince

**Author's Note:**

> tw - mentions of child abuse throughout, slight panic attack but not graphically described 
> 
> also disclaimer, because I fucked around with canon a bit, Ben isn't deaf yet in this au (he still had like partial hearing loss but the boat crash and subsequent loss didn't happen) although i do have plans for this au so if that's what you're looking for just hold on i promise ill get to it hehe

It’s a feeling like no other, standing backstage when you know there’s an audience full of people just around the corner, waiting to see  _ you _ . The heat that’s burning off the stage lights, the adrenaline that’s almost palpable through the air, pulsing through the rest of the cast- it’s exhilarating, and sickening, and so, so addictive all at once, and Callum doesn’t think he’ll ever forget it. Fuck, especially opening night- he should be nervous, and there’s a part of him, of course, that’s  _ shitting himself _ , but it doesn’t beat the feeling of  _ this is what I’ve always wanted _ . 

He’s just been standing at the edge of the curtain in costume for the last ten minutes, watching from where he’s hidden as people fill in the seats. He’d been ready ridiculously early for which he’d received a raise of the eyebrows and a very amused look from Ben, who’d been sat in the dressing room an hour before the doors opened in soft trousers and one of Callum’s jumpers (it’s one of his favourites, the one he’d been looking for that morning in fact, but Ben looks too cute for him to bother complaining). No one else seems to bother him about it though, so he assumes it’s not out of character for him to be this laid back before a show. Callum personally thinks it’s all a front, which Ben denies vehemently, so he leaves it be. 

He kind of likes the quiet chaos of being left to his own thoughts right now anyway. It’s weird, but he feels so at home here, hard edges of black board turning into wooden panelling under his feet, lights glaring out just in front of him. Not for the first time, he’s silently thanking Whitney for pushing him to do this, because he’s found so much right here in this theatre, and not just himself- he’s found Ben too, and isn’t that something?

(He’s texted all these thoughts to her all through the evening, repeatedly. She’s replied with just as much vigour, telling him she’s sat in the third row back, slightly to the right side, and she’s brought her new boyfriend along. He’s not met him yet, but he’s heard so many good things about him from Whitney already that it settles the burning protectiveness in his chest- more than anything, he wants to see her happy and if the glow on her face in recent weeks is anything to go by, the two of them are more than fine.) 

He’s startled out of his thoughts by the feeling of strong arms wrapping around his waist, curling into his chest. They’re placed carefully, just avoiding where his scar curls up his chest and where it’s sensitive, in a way that only one person would know.    
  


“Alright, babe?” Ben’s cheerful voice rings through his ears, and there’s the beautiful hum of excitement in his tone that never fails to make Callum smile. 

“Finally out of your dressing room then?” Callum laughs, turning in the circle of Ben’s arms to press their foreheads together. Ben giggles but doesn’t respond for a minute, just waits as they breathe together, skin to skin,  _ close _ . 

“You okay? Apparently you’ve been stood here a while, don’t want you getting stage fright,” Ben says. It’s woven between his usual humour, but Callum knows there’s real concern there, and it makes a blush colour his cheeks under all the stage makeup. 

“Yeah,” he smiles, and it’s honest, truly. He’s nervous, sure, but right here and now with Ben- it’s perfect. “Just like looking at the stage and the audience, makes it feel real, you know?”

Ben smiles and nods. “Yeah, I get that. You’re gonna be amazing, babe.” 

Callum’s sure his blush must burn through the makeup at that. “So are you, Ben.” 

-

It  _ is _ amazing. Fuck, it’s everything Callum ever wanted. He’s never been one to speak highly of himself, he knows that, but him and Ben onstage together feels  _ right _ , more than it ever has. They roll through the first act perfectly, and it burns happiness and pride in his chest. Ben’s dynamic onstage- he looks just so at home there, slipping into the character perfectly and sometimes, when he’s watching from behind the curtain, he has to restrain himself from storming the stage and kissing Ben mid-scene. 

Everything’s perfect, until something happens. 

It’s almost imperceptible, and Callum’s sure that if he didn’t know Ben so well he wouldn’t have caught it. But he’s waiting just on the other side of the curtain, watching as Ben performs the last part of a scene. The other man’s gaze flutters out to the audience momentarily, and Callum tracks his eyes as he scans the seats. He’s just looking along the front row when Ben freezes, for a split second. His face changes just subtly, but there’s so much even in that half-second change. It’s surprise, and confusion, and anger, and fear flitting through his face before it falls back to his stage expression, sinking back into the scene. It shoots worry through Callum, because Ben never loses his focus mid-scene, even for a second. He drags his eyes to the front row but there’s hardly anyone he recognises, and no one from the photos Ben’s showed him of his friends and family. There’s someone he knows as the director’s wife, and one of his kids right in the centre, and one of the ensemble cast that had pulled out after getting sick the first week. Everyone else in the front row is old- grey haired couples leaning next to each other. There’s a single man to the left, short, stocky and bald and dressed in a dark jacket, but it’s no one Callum recognises. 

Before he can really think about it, they’re saying the final lines, and the curtain comes down for interval. As soon as it’s down, Ben pushes his way offstage, and straight past Callum in the direction of their dressing room, and Callum doesn’t have to be a genius to understand that something’s wrong. 

He leaves where he’s stood backstage where the cast is chattering quietly, and walks down the corridor towards their closed dressing room door. He knocks carefully on the door, but there’s no response. He tries again and there’s nothing, and worry just pulses through Callum at every second Ben doesn’t talk to him.

“Ben? I’m gonna come in, okay? I just want to make sure you’re okay,” he says, to no answer. He takes a breath, and pushes down the handle, opening the heavy door. 

Sure enough, Ben’s sat on the other side. He’s slumped forward in his chair, head resting on his own hands in front of one of the two mirrors on the far wall. There’s quiet, slightly too fast breaths bouncing off the wall and he sighs, pushing the door shut behind him. 

“Ben?” he calls quietly, and the other man flinches slightly. It breaks his heart, because he’s never seen Ben like this in all the time they’ve known each other, and it scares him. He feels off balance, like he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do but his instincts just to  _ hold _ Ben override everything, and he walks slowly over to where the other man’s sat, and kneels just beside his chair.

“Hey, Ben, it’s just me, can you look at me?” Callum says carefully. Ben shifts slightly, so that one eye peeps out from behind his hands. It’s half-lidded, and only just looking at Callum but it’s something, and he reckons it’s the best he’s going to get right now. 

“Hi,” Callum whispers, and he hopes he’s loud enough for Ben to hear him because he’s on the side of his bad ear (it hits him suddenly that he should probably ask about that, because he doesn’t actually know how far this goes, and he tucks the thought away for later). “Can I touch you?”

There’s a slight shift of Ben’s head, a small nod, and it cools something in Callum because he’s yearning to just be able to  _ touch, hold, fix _ but this isn’t about him. He places a gentle hand on Ben’s back, just below the base of his neck, and Ben flinches hard. 

“Not- not- just- my hand, please,” he mutters, his voice shaking in a way that shatters Callum’s heart. 

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m sorry,” he says, and now his voice is shaking too. Callum traces his hand to Ben’s wrist, and the other man shifts a hand away from his face to lace their fingers together. Callum squeezes his hand, stroking over the back of Ben’s arm with his other hand. “Just breathe with me, you’re okay I promise.”

Ben lets out this noise, and it’s an annoyed almost-growl, but he follows along with Callum anyway, waits as his breathing starts to slow again. He’s not sure how long they’re sat there and maybe Callum should be more concerned about when the interval ends but right now his whole focus is on Ben. He sits for maybe another minute after his breathing is back to normal, and then he’s shoving himself out of his seat, pacing to the other end of the room, hands curling into his hair. The sudden movement catches Callum off guard, and he pulls himself off his knees. 

“Ben? What’s going on, are you okay?” he asks, hoping Ben doesn’t catch the scared shake in his voice. 

“What do you think?” Ben bites back in a way that reminds Callum so much of when he’d first met him, before he takes a steadying breath. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright, Ben, don’t worry,” Callum replies instantly, but he gives Ben his space, stays at the opposite side of the room because he’s never seen Ben like this, and he feels completely wrong footed. “Talk to me, please.”

“There’s a guy I know- used to know, in the front row. Just- caught me off guard,” he says, but Callum’s not fooled- it’s obvious that he’s playing it down, hiding himself away because he thinks it’ll be easier and Callum’s no stranger to that, he’s just not used to being on the other side of it. 

“Do you want to tal-”

“He’s my dad,” Ben blurts out quickly. His voice is different now though, like fear mixed with anger, boiling together. “He should’ve stayed away, he should’ve fucking stayed away. I warned him, I didn’t want him around me any more, h-he should be gone.” 

He pauses for a minute, and Callum thinks maybe that’s all he’s going to get until suddenly Ben’s hands are coming down to his sides, balled into fists, and he’s looking right at Callum but Ben’s eyes are betraying him- there isn’t anger there like maybe Callum expects, just fear. 

“He just- he fucking  _ ruined  _ me. I was too fucking weak for him, I couldn’t be the man he so desperately wanted, because  _ why would he want a some queer for a son _ and I left him, told him to piss off and leave me alone, and now he’s back. What does he think he’s doing, watching me in a fucking play? When that was the last thing he wanted me to do.” 

Anger burns through Callum quicker than he’d thought possible at Ben’s words, because it doesn’t take a genius to piece it all together, and  _ fuck,  _ it’s just all to familiar. He gets it, more than he wants to- understands that feeling like you can never be good enough for someone, no matter how much you change. Callum gets the hopelessness that comes with that, because look at him- he’s ruined himself, all for his dad’s approval and it’s gotten him nowhere. He thinks, somewhere distantly in his mind, his therapist would tell him off for thinking like that but that’s something he can deal with later. He can see that Ben’s terrified, under the front that he’s putting up, and Callum knows better than most that no one deserves to feel like that. Fuck, he’s seen too much of that fear,  _ felt _ too much of that fear for a lifetime, and there’s fury hot in his chest at the thought that Ben thinks he deserved it. 

“I’m so sorry, Ben. I didn’t know. I promise you, you’re safe with me. I won’t let him get to you,” he says, and he’s reciting words from his own mind, words he wanted to hear, words that are mainly drilled into his own head in Mick Carter’s voice. “Is there anything I can do?” 

Ben doesn’t say anything for a minute, but Callum watches him as he deflates, as his fists curl back into flat palms again, running over his face once. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, as if he wants to speak but doesn’t quite know what he wants to say. Then, he turns to look at Callum again, and his eyes are pleading for him to understand, and he does, he gets it. 

“You want me to get him out?” Callum says carefully, and Ben nods. 

“Front, uh, front row, far side next to the aisle,” he says, and Callum nods.

“I can just go and get security, they’ll remove him and make sure he leaves,” he says and it’s easy because this is something he’s good at, this reassurance when he’s in control, when he knows what he can do to help. Ben nods again, but shifts forward a little bit when Callum goes to leave the room, and it’s all too familiar. 

“I’ll be right outside, I won’t close the door. There was someone just out there when I came in. I’ll be a minute, tops,” Callum smiles gently. “Do you want to text Lola?” 

There’s a flicker of something on Ben’s face at the suggestion, but Callum can’t quite see what it is. Him and Lola had met properly a couple of times since the night of his and Ben’s first proper date. Her and Ben are so close, and he guesses they’ve known each other a long time, even though they don’t talk about the past all that much (although Callum’s probably just understood why). He remembers hearing Ben say that Lola’s in the audience tonight with her daughter, who Callum’s not met yet, but has seen pictures of. He outright refuses to admit the future he’d imagined at some of the pictures of Ben and Lexi cuddled close. 

He’s not sure why he suggests texting Lola, but the hint of a smile that creeps onto Ben’s face is proof enough that he’s done the right thing. 

“Yeah, uh, might be an idea,” Ben says, and walks back to his dressing table while Callum opens the door again. 

-

_ Ben: my dad’s here _

_ Ben: callum’s gonna get him removed _

_ Lola: Shit. You okay? You need me to come find you? _

_ Ben: honestly idk _

_ Ben: nah callum’s got it sorted _

_ Lola: You sure, Ben? I don’t mind  _

_ Ben: I know. I’m fine, Lo. Callum’s been amazing.  _

_ Ben: lex alright? _

_ Lola: Loving it. Proper proud little madam x _

_ Lola: She wants to see you after, so don’t go getting distracted by that boyfriend of yours  _

_ Ben: no promises ;) _

_ Lola: You’re disgusting _

_ Lola: Break some legs <3  _

_ Ben: I’m going to kill you if you don’t start getting that phrase right _

-

When the two of them are standing beside the curtain again, waiting for the curtain to rise, Ben slips his hand into Callum’s. It’s slow, gentle, and soothing to the way Callum’s shaking just slightly with nerves. They can’t say anything to each other now, because they’re calling quiet in the audience, doing a quick re-check of the sound systems, so Callum knows exactly what the gesture is, in all the things it means. It’s a thank you, it’s an apology, it’s a  _ thank you for helping me through this mess _ , and a  _ thank you for not giving up on me _ . It’s a  _ you’ll do great,  _ and an  _ I’m so proud of you  _ and an  _ I can’t wait to kiss you again.  _ It’s everything Callum wants right now, bar the parts where Ben feels like he has anything to be sorry for, and it’s a balm to Callum’s nervous mind. He squeezes Ben’s hand in return, stroking a thumb over the back of it, and Ben turns to look at him. There’s something that Callum doesn’t recognise in his eyes, something that just feels like so much that he’s not sure if he deserves it. He smiles gently back, hoping that Ben can read something similar in his own eyes. It still amazes him, how they can say all this to each other so much easier without words. It’s perfect, and it’s everything Callum’s ever wanted. 

The second half couldn’t be more perfect. It takes Ben a little longer to settle into it, and for what Callum thinks is the first time he can see nerves on his boyfriend’s face, but after the first few scenes he’s perfect, better than Callum’s ever seen him. There’s one scene that catches him a bit, the way it has a few times in rehearsal- the play’s coming to it’s end, and him and Ben are on for their last scene, and it’s the one where Ben’s got a gun trained on him. The sight of it makes his heart jump, but he breathes through it, reminds himself that  _ he’s not back there, it’s all just an act _ . It goes smoothly, and when Ben starts crying, starts properly getting into the scene, Callum doesn’t have to act when he’s crying too. Fuck, he’s so fucking  _ proud _ , and maybe it’s ridiculous but it makes him fall even harder for the man in front of him. 

Before he knows it they’re done, watching as the curtain comes down. He can’t help but feel that little shot of disappointment that it’s actually done, until he remembers he gets to do it all again tomorrow night, and the night after that. He’s pulled up from where he’s lying on the floor by strong, soft hands and straight into a hug. 

“I’m so, so proud of you,” Ben whispers into his ear, almost drowned out by the applause on the other side of the curtain, and Callum has to make an effort not to cry into Ben’s neck. Instead, he presses a quick kiss to Ben’s lips, the only thing he can do before they have to get into positions to bow to the audience. He quickly wipes a tear from under his eye, and him and Ben part as the curtain comes up. 

When they’re bowing, Callum can’t help but notice Ben. He watches as the other man’s eyes trace around the audience until he settles somewhere, and his face just  _ lights up.  _ There’s a huge smile across his face in an instant, and he’s laughing with a little wave. Callum follows Ben’s line of sight to the left of the fourth row, where he recognises Lola. She’s dressed in a bright blue dress and her hair’s done up, and she’s clapping enthusiastically, cheering out every few seconds. Standing up on the seat next to her is a little girl who looks almost identical to Lola. Her hair is the same bright blonde, and the smile is unmatched by anyone else’s. She’s got a pink dress on, and seems to be almost constantly cheering. He guesses this must be Lexi, and Ben can’t help but adore how Ben’s face just lights up at the sight of her. 

Callum then lets his gaze fall to the third row, where there’s two people cheering excitedly, looking right at him. Whitney looks amazing, and happy which is better than anything. The man beside her is standing up cheering as well, but he’s staring at her, and Callum recognises the look in his eyes. Yeah, she’ll be fine. 

-

When the two of them finally get back to the dressing room, Callum’s not sure what to do with himself. There’s still adrenaline pumping through him and nothing to do with it, but he’s happy, happier than he’s been in a while. There’s something familiar about the adrenaline, but this time it’s without the consequences, and it’s odd at first. He collapses straight into his chair in front of one of the dressing room mirrors, chatter outside just slightly blocked out by the heavy door, and lets out a sigh. 

“That was… incredible,” Callum whispers, and he’s not entirely sure whether it’s for Ben or for himself. Either way, Ben smiles at him and giggles, before grabbing his phone and typing something quickly. 

“I’m gonna go and find Lola and Lex, you wanna come?” Ben says, but Callum can’t find it in himself to respond straight away. For some reason there’s tears in his eyes, just as the adrenaline fades and he’s not quite sure what to do with himself. He supposes it’s something to do with the fact that he’s not had a rush like that since the army, or the fact that he can’t remember ever feeling as happy as he just did onstage. Ben must sense the change in mood, because in seconds he’s kneeling in front of Callum, a gentle hand on his knee.

“You okay?” he whispers. “Was it the last scene? Do you wanna leave?”

Callum knows exactly what he’s asking when Ben mentions the last scene, and it’s strange to have someone be so thoughtful and considerate about it. “No, no, it’s not that. I think it’s just the adrenaline wearing off, just- uh…”

“Need a minute?” Ben finishes, and Callum nods. “Hey, that’s okay, I get it. Do you want a minute alone? I can go and find the others and bring them back here if you still want to meet Lex? Or you can leave it for tonight, I don’t mind.” 

“I want to meet her,” Callum says, and it’s the truth. “You go and find them and bring them back here, yeah? And tell Whit to come say hello if you see her too. I just need a minute to breathe, I’m okay.” 

Ben takes a minute, watching Callum’s eyes as if he’s not convinced about leaving the other man alone. Sure, Callum’s not great about actually talking about what he needs but it’s the truth, he really does just need a minute alone. Eventually, Ben nods. 

“I’ll be back in a minute then, babe,” he says, before leaving a kiss on Callum’s cheek, and leaving the room. 

-

The door to the dressing room opens again about ten minutes later, when Callum’s pulled himself back together. Instantly, there’s noise, and laughter, and it’s infectious already. He stands up, and about a second later Lola rushes into him, throwing her arms around his shoulders. 

“You guys were incredible!” She laughs, rubbing a hand up and down his back before she pulls away. “Bet you’re proud, hey?”

“Yeah, yeah, it was so great,” he smiles back at her. Her face changes just slightly, before she checks that Ben’s not stood behind her. 

“And thank you, for dealing with Ben’s dad earlier,” she says, and Callum can see the hatred she must have for the other man cross her face. “There’s a lot of history, and I’m just glad you were there to help.” 

“I’m glad I could be,” he says, and Lola smiles at him, a careful smile, before the moment’s broken by the sound of Ben’s loud laughter coming through the door. 

When he pushes through, he’s got a giggling Lexi perched on his hip, arms securely around her waist. They’re cuddled close, and it’s such a sweet sight. 

“Right, trouble,” Ben turns to Lexi as he kicks the door almost closed behind him. “This is Callum, and he was really excited to meet you so you better be nice, yeah?” 

“I’m always nice!” she says back with a huff, before wriggling out of Ben’s grip and running over to where Callum’s knelt on the ground so that they’re about the same height. She doesn’t hesitate before throwing her little arms around Callum’s shoulders and pulling him into a hug. “You were proper amazing on the stage, Callum! You’ve got a really good voice.” 

“Thank you! I love your dress,” he says in return, and her grin gets even bigger if it’s possible.

“Yeah, proper little princess isn’t she, this one?” Ben laughs, before Lexi runs back over to him, and he picks her up again.

“Ben, is Callum one of your friends?” she says. Ben shoots a look over to Callum, but there’s no hesitation, just pure pride. 

“No, babe, Callum’s my boyfriend.” 

Lexi gasps, and her face lights up. “Is Callum your prince?” 

Ben laughs, and it’s infectious. Callum’s blushing at the girl’s words, because he knows there’s so much behind them that maybe she doesn’t realise. They’ve been together maybe six months, and the thought of being Ben’s  _ prince _ , being his fiance and maybe someday his husband, it doesn’t feel wrong at all. Maybe that should scare him, but it doesn’t, and maybe Callum’s tired of listening to what he should be. 

“I’d like him to be, princess,” Ben stage-whispers to Lexi, his gaze flicking over to Callum, maybe to check that he’s not freaked out but he couldn’t hold back the smile on his face if he tried. Ben smiles back and it must be big enough to match his own, because Callum thinks it’s the happiest Ben’s ever looked. 

Fuck, he’s madly in love, and he doesn’t care who knows it. 

-

“Cal, I am so  _ so  _ proud of you!” Whitney says as soon as he meets her just outside of his dressing room. Her boyfriend’s stood just off to the side, a sweet smile on his face. She throws her arms around his shoulders as soon as he sees her. 

“Thanks, Whit,” he laughs into her shoulder, squeezing his own arms around her just as she pulls away. 

“Seriously, you were amazing,” she says, rubbing a hand over the top of his arm, and now there’s sincerity that he recognises so clearly on her face, and he realises there’s so much more to what she’s saying now. He knows she’s worried about him, over the last months of them living together and it feels good that maybe now he can tell her he’s doing good, and really mean it. And maybe even now she can see it written over his face for herself. Fuck, he really needs to buy her some wine or something, thank her for convincing him to do this. 

“Oh, uh, this is Sam,” she says, grabbing the other man’s hand and pulling him forward slightly. “My boyfriend. Sam, this is my best friend, Callum.”

(Something in his heart melts a little at actually being someone’s  _ best friend _ , and he couldn’t explain the feeling if he tried.)

“It’s good to meet you, mate,” Callum says, shaking Sam’s hand.

“Yeah, you too. Whitney’s told me a lot about you,” he says with a smile, so he assumes it must all be good, or at least all embarrassing. “You really are talented.” 

Callum can’t help the blush, and the way that he looks down at his feet, unsure how to take the compliment, because it feels weird, someone calling him  _ talented.  _

“Ah, I’m not so sure about that, but thank you,” he says. “Anyway, uh, I’m going back to Ben’s tonight, so you two have the apartment to yourselves if you want it so have a good night, yeah?” 

Whitney blushes slightly and leans into Sam, who gives a little laugh, and it’s  _ sweet _ , and Callum’s just so glad she’s happy. 

“Yeah,” she says. “Yeah, you enjoy yourself too, alright? You deserve it.” 

Callum smiles and thinks  _ yeah, maybe he does _ and that’s something for him. 

-

Him and Ben hang around with the rest of the cast for a while after Whitney’s gone, congratulating and receiving congratulations for a successful opening night, and soon enough the four of them - him, Ben, Lola and Lexi - end up getting a taxi straight back to Ben’s apartment. Callum feels the way Ben tenses up the minute they get out of the theatre, because it’s dark outside and it reminds Callum quickly of what had happened before. He takes Ben’s hand, squeezes it tight and hopes that it portrays everything that he can’t put into words right now. He thinks maybe it does, because Ben smiles just a little, and his shoulders drop slightly. They end up waiting just inside the lobby for the taxi anyway, because it’s warmer and lighter, and it’s just started to rain slightly. It’s evident Lexi’s energy is starting to wain even though she’s clearly fighting it, because she’s been quiet for the last ten minutes, leaning against the wall next to Lola. 

When they get back, Lexi suddenly perks up slightly and it takes until they get in for him to work out why. As it turns out, unbeknownst to both him and Ben, Lola and Lexi have decorated the apartment with balloons and ‘congratulations!’ banners and it’s probably the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for him. Ben seems pleasantly surprised too, but Callum reckons he spends more time staring at him than looking at the decorations, and Callum tries his best not to blush, even though he knows it’s fruitless. The two of them end up cuddled up on the sofa for a while, fresh pizza in front of them and champagne glasses in their hands (they’ve all got one, and Lexi doesn’t know that her’s is filled with some fizzy apple thing Lola had found so her reactions to the ‘alcohol’ are definitely amusing to watch). They put something mindless on the television while they eat and Lexi ends up crashing a couple of minutes later, her head curled on Ben’s leg, breathing softly. They leave her there for a little while, before Lola pulls herself out of her chair with a groan. 

“Right, I think it’s way past bedtime for me and trouble over there,” she says, putting her glass on the coffee table and walking over to Lexi. Ben hums, and pats Lexi gently on the shoulder to wake her up. She’s somewhat coherent when Lola picks her up, and mutters a goodnight to the two of them.

They end up retreating to Ben’s bed eventually, because it’s twice as comfy as the old sofa, and Callum thinks maybe he’s got a thing for being curled up in bed with Ben now. 

“I had a really good time today, you know?” Callum says quietly to the darkness of the room, hoping Ben’s not asleep yet because he’s too wired and he doesn’t feel like he can sleep without talking the day over with the man that’s curled into him. Luckily, he feels Ben shift in his arms and he turns around to his other side, so that they’re lying face to face. 

“I’m glad,” he says, and there’s a beautiful soft smile on his face. “I’m so proud of you, you know?”

“I’m proud of you too,” Callum says, because all of the compliments are getting a little too much for him and he just feels desperate for a minute to turn the attention around. “How are you feeling? You okay?” 

Ben’s forehead creases for a minute, until he seems to clock what Callum’s talking about. His face shifts, and guilt runs through Callum for bringing it up but he’s always been a people-pleaser, and he can’t sleep without knowing that Ben’s really going to be alright. 

“I think so,” Ben says, and it sounds honest, which settles something in Callum. “Just freaked me out a little, is all.”

“You know you don’t have to,” Callum starts. “But I’m always here if and when you ever want to talk about it.” 

“Thank you, Cal. I’ll keep that in mind,” Ben says and he smiles again, as his eyes close for a minute. “You like Lexi then?” 

Callum can’t miss the change in topic, but he’s said what he needs to, so he doesn’t fight him on it. “Yeah, she’s so, so lovely. She obviously adores you.”

The proud smile on Ben’s face at that is so bright it’s impossible to miss. “She is, ain’t she?” 

“You don’t have to say, it’s probably not my place to ask, but what happened to her dad?” Callum asks, and Ben’s face falls a little sad. 

“Lo had her when she was young. We’ve been friends since we were kids. Lola had a boyfriend back then, when she was maybe 17. Drunk night, the guy pissed off right after she told him,” Ben replies, and Callum can feel the residual anger Ben must hold at the man. “She moved out of Walford, where we grew up, when she turned 18, and raised Lexi herself the first few years. I got away from Walford when I was 20, and we’ve been roommates ever since. I chip in where I can, bringing up Lex. ”

“Got away?”

Ben laughs, but it’s somewhat bitter. “Long story.” 

He senses the tone, and doesn’t question it. “Well you both seem to have done a great job, she’s amazing.” 

That gets Ben smiling again. “It’s all Lola, really. She’s incredible. She did so much for me, when we were kids, it was the least I could do.” 

“You’re incredible too,” Callum says, and he relishes in the hint of a blush that it brings to Ben’s cheeks. 

“This ain’t gonna change things between us, right?” Ben says suddenly, and Callum can tell there’s real worry in his eyes. “She might not actually be my daughter but she’s as good as, at this point, and that comes with a lot of stuff. I don’t want you to think it’s fine and freak out about it. She gets attached easily, and I don’t want to disappoint her.” 

The clear protectiveness in Ben, the way he clearly wants so badly to do good by the little girl, it makes Callum’s heart race. “Of course not. She’s a part of your life, and that’s nothing to be sorry about. I just hope she likes me.” 

“I don’t think it’s possible for someone to not like you, babe,” Ben laughs, clearly relieved as he relaxes back into Callum’s arms. “I just- I know what it’s like to have a shitty dad, and I never wanted her to have to deal with that, you know? I was so scared, when I first started living with the two of them, scared that I’d- I don’t know, fuck up and mess her up. She’s such a good kid.” 

“She is,” Callum agrees instantly. “I am sorry about your dad, Ben. For what it’s worth, I get it.” 

Ben looks sceptical for a minute, and Callum gets it because he’s had so much of people saying  _ they understand _ when really they’re clueless about what he’s going through, but then Ben’s face changes to one of pity, maybe of sympathy, and Callum’s overwhelmed with this urge to spill all, in a way he never really has before. 

“I lived with my dad and my brother growing up. My mum left us when I was little, so I can’t remember her all that much. My dad- he’s an alcoholic, reckon she left to get away from him. Can’t blame her, really. My brother tried to protect me from him so much, but he didn’t get it. He’s the reason I joined the army in the end, some crap about trying to prove myself to him, trying to prove I was a man. I haven’t heard from either of them since I got back.” 

It’s strangely cathartic, finally letting everything go like that. He opens his eyes when he’s finished speaking, unaware of when he’d closed them, and looks back into Ben’s eyes. They’re soft, and sad and so full of understanding. 

“I’m sorry,” he says gently, bringing a thumb out to stroke across Calum’s hand where it’s laying between them. “My, uh, my dad was an alcoholic too, so we’ve got that in common.” 

Ben pasues and takes a shaky breath. 

“I’m sorry, Ben, we don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to-”

“No, no, it’s okay,” he says, sincerity in his eyes. “He hated me, when I was a kid. Too feminine for him, hated the fact that I wanted to be an actor. Moving away was- it was my way of not letting him control me anymore, you know? Lola was always telling me to do it, to move away from Walford, start again, but I couldn’t, not until I’d seen Lola do it. I just- snapped, one day. Got all my stuff and just turned up on Lola’s doorstep asking for a spot on the sofa. Haven’t gone back since.”

“You’re amazing,” Callum says, and he hopes it gets across everything he can’t put into words. “I love you, so much. I’m so proud of you.” 

There’s tears in Ben’s eyes, and he’s about to panic until Ben lets out this happy little laugh. “Happy tears, don’t panic. I love you too, so much.” 

Ben leans forward to press a kiss to Callum’s lips, and it’s fireworks all over again, just like the first time. Callum wonders absent-mindedly if it’ll always be like that. 

“Listen, uh, what Lex said about you being my prince earlier,” Ben says when they pull apart with a little shy laugh. “It’s sort of how we explained relationships to her, and how we talked about me being gay. She’s loved them since she was little so it worked, I guess. I hope it wasn’t too much?” 

Callum wants to laugh, wants to scream  _ it’s never too much _ because it’s been all he could think about since Lexi said it, being Ben’s  _ prince _ . He’s not going to admit it, but the idea brings warmth flooding into his chest and he never wants to stop thinking about it, ever. He’s not sure where it’s all coming from and it’s definitely too soon but all of a sudden he’s thinking up this possible future together with Ben, this absolute dream that he never wants to forget, of kids, and happiness and an actual family, fitting in somewhere for real in a way he never has before, and he wants it so bad it burns bright in his chest and he’s surprised it’s not glowing out of his face.

“It wasn’t too much,” he replies, instead of all the things he wants to say, because they’re too complicated for right now. “I wouldn’t mind being your prince.” 

Ben smiles, and there’s a definite blush on his face now. He whines with a little laugh when he realises what’s happened, and shoves his face into Callum’s shoulder where he holds him tightly until he falls asleep, soft breaths against sleep-warm skin. 

Fuck, to be someone’s  _ prince _ . 

_ One day _ , he thinks quietly to himself. 

**Author's Note:**

> the long awaited return of this au!!   
> my apologies to anyone who's been waiting on an update for this, i've been focusing on various other bits and projects, but i got a random bout of inspiration for it a little while ago and so i wrote this. initially it was gonna be maybe 2k words ish but i got a bit carried away... and wrote this... 6.5k monster... my apologies. hope you enjoyed! comments/kudos mean the world <3 (and if you wanna yell at me for taking so long with this you're more than welcome im on tumblr at artsy-highway)  
> leo x


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